A really annoyed Goldilocks!
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"Just Add Salt" by deviantart user ertesaffy3
"Could you tell me," said the girl, "if my bridegroom lives here?"
"Oh, you poor child," replied the old woman, "where did you come from? You are in a murderer’s den. You think you are a bride soon to be married, but it is death that you will be marrying. Look, they made me put a large kettle of water on the fire. When they have captured you, they will chop you to pieces without mercy, cook you, and eat you, for they are cannibals. If I do not show you compassion and save you, you are doomed."
With this the old woman led her behind a large barrel where she could not be seen.
"Be quiet as a mouse." she said. "Do not make a sound or move, or all will be over with you. Tonight when the robbers are asleep we will escape. I have long waited for an opportunity."
This had scarcely happened when the godless band came home. They were dragging with them another maiden. They were drunk and paid no attention to her screams and sobs.
They gave her wine to drink, three glasses full, one glass of white, one glass of red, and one glass of yellow, which caused her heart to break. Then they ripped off her fine clothes, laid her on a table, chopped her beautiful body in pieces and sprinkled salt on it. The poor bride behind the barrel trembled and shook, for she saw well what fate the robbers had planned for her.
One of them noticed a gold ring on the murdered girl’s little finger. Because it did not come off easily, he took an ax and chopped the finger off, but it flew into the air and over the barrel, falling right into the bride’s lap. The robber took a light and looked for it, but could not find it.
Then another one said, “Did you look behind the large barrel?”
But the old woman cried out, “Come and eat. You can continue looking in the morning. That finger won’t run away from you.”
[Excerpt from “The Robber Bridegroom” by the Brothers Grimm
Translation by D.L. Ashlimann]
Photoset with 42 notes
"Red Riding Hood" by Dasha Kond
I saw these photos for the first time today on Once Upon a Blog, where Dasha Kond’s Brave-inspired set is being discussed. Dasha works with many live animals and her Merida has a live bear! A number of other fairy-tale-esque works of Dasha’s have been pulled out and showcased on the Once Upon a Blog post. Take a look!
Fairy Tale Scribbles series (Image 1 of 6) - Jack and the Beanstalk
Fairy Tale Scribbles (Image 5 of 6) - Snow-White and Rose-Red
The Queen from Snow White by Anton Pieck
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Warning: Long and not particularly edited rant ahead.
Yesterday, I watched the atrocity that is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and I have some things to say.
Many people assumed that because I study fairy tales, I would be chomping at the bit to see this movie. Obviously, I’m late to the game here because I really didn’t want to watch it. I finally did, and it made me sad.
I don’t want people to think I’m some kind of snob who only wants re-tellings, re-imaginations, and adaptations to represent my favorite versions of these stories. In fact, I very much enjoy creative and witty adaptations of fairy tales. You will hear me “confess” over and over (although it’s no surprise to the people who know me) that I like Disney (horror of horrors in the academic community!). But certain things irk me, like Frozen’s departure from its inspiration… mostly because I was so looking forward to a Snow Queen movie!
But back to the Witch Hunters. This was a bad movie. IT WAS A REALLY BAD MOVIE. Ignore all the fairy-tale stuff, okay? This was badly written, badly acted, badly researched (I know that fairy tales exist in their own kind of ‘chronotype’ that is outside ours and that world is fantastical and not real, but maybe next time, let’s pick an inspirational era and stick with it, okay?)… I cringed every time the characters uttered phrases like “fucking hillbillies!”, or changed accents. My SO and I were almost in tears laughing at the final battle, and I’m pretty sure this was not supposed to be a comedy. If it was a comedy, played for anachronistic humor like Robin Hood: Men in Tights, maybe it wouldn’t have bothered me so much that this exists.
Why is my reaction so visceral? Well, because even bad adaptations of fairy tales are fairy tales and the more popular they are, the more relevant to my corpus they become. And you try putting #hanselandgretel into Tumblr and getting a list of results that doesn’t include this movie. And I’m doing quite a lot with Hansel and Gretel at the moment and, as someone who feels all contexts and variants are somehow meaningful culturally regardless of quality, I kind of feel like I have to reference it somehow. Because there are some iconic images embedded into this shit of a film and they are being broadcast to a large modern audience and just… existing in the body of work that represents modern adaptations.
And on top of that personal research note, I also feel like this kind of film shows an attitude people have about fairy tales that says, “oooh, it’s a dark story, let’s make it ‘adult’ and put in some more sex and violence!” That’s not necessarily bad, but can’t we approach it tastefully and not so gratuitously? I kind of liked the IDEA behind the plot of this movie, but the lazy storytelling and mishmash of modern and early 19th century (? maybe? Kind of the “Generic Grimm Bros.” time period…) made it a mockery of itself. All the money was clearly spent on special effects and fake blood, and not on the kind of details that would have made this movie not terrible.
Okay. I could go on for ages, but I think the above got some of that out of my system. Don’t bother watching this. Hansel and Gretel Get Baked was more enjoyable (probably because it took itself so much less seriously… and isn’t clogging up the Hansel And Gretel tag here in Tumblrtown [as I hypocritically tag this post with those labels]).
The Selkie Bride
Watercolor & Ink
Continuing a love for selkies after the “The Song of the Sea” post yesterday. Gorgeous.
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